"We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." _ Tad Williams

Tip 54 is on Honesty. My favorite, Webster's New World College Dictionary defines the word honesty as, "the state or quality of being honest; a refraining from lying, cheating or stealing; a being truthful, trustworthy, or upright; sincereity, fairness, straightforwardness." Are you someone who always tells the truth? Or are you someone who tells white lies? Are you someone that justifies telling little white lies to save someone's feelings? Take a good long look at what others would say about you. Are you someone who can be trusted or not? That is a huge question!!! The answer means everything and says everything about your reputation out there in the real world. I am brutely honest to a fault. This proverb totally describes me, "If you truly want honesty, don't ask the questions you don't really want the answers to." Yes, sometimes the truth does hurt, but I would much rather cause a small hurt by telling the truth then causing a huge ongoing hurt because I lied.

This anonymous quote says it all, "Once a liar, always a liar." Once someone lies to you, how could you ever ever ever trust them again. Every single time they say anything to you after they are caught lying, you can't help but wonder if they are lying again. My mom used to always say, "It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation and 15 seconds to destroy it." It is in those 15 seconds that you decide to tell a lie instead of telling the truth. Most of the time when we lie it is because it is easier, or so we think, to tell the lie. So instead of saying, I'm tired tonight and not in the mood to go out to dinner - we say sorry my kid is sick. I am not sure why some of us think it is easier to lie because now days later when you speak with that friend you need to remember that you told them the kid was sick and the lying continues when they ask you how your kid is feeling. I love this Spencer Johnson quote, "Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." Integrity also means not looking for loopholes to justify your lies.

Many years ago when I took the original EST Training, I was 15 years old, and I decided right there and then to never ever tell a lie again. I decided that I wanted to be someone who others could trust. I wanted to have a reputation of honor and integrity. William Shakespeare said it best, "Honest is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." It is so much easier to just tell the truth and deal with the ramifications at the time. It takes so much more effort to lie. Here is another great quote, this time by Mark Twain, "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

White lies never hurt anyone..., How many times have you heard that. It might not hurt the person you are lying to, but it definitely hurts you. You become known as someone who doesn't tell the truth. You are someone who tells white lies. I love this quote by Austin O'Malley, "Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind." We make excuses for our small white lies and justify our actions by saying we are saving another person's feelings. Remember this yiddish proverb, "A half truth is a whole lie." It is never easier to just tell a small white lie.

We have all heard this quote before, "Actions speak louder than words." How about, "Children learn from example." Think about this. Your children will grow up and emulate you as best as they can. How do you want your children to view you? They know the truth - they are always an earshot away. They know in their hearts whether you are a parent who tells the truth or not. Think about this quote from Roy L. Smith, "We are apt to forget that children watch examples better that they listen to preaching." And here is another great quote to remember from Clarence Businton Kelland, "My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." Keep this in mind next time you are on the phone or at a store or you have company over and your children are there to watch, to hear and to learn from your example. Be the kind of parent that sets a good example for your children. Teach them to tell the truth! Always remember this quote by William Shakespeare, "No legacy is so rich as honesty."

"To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow

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West Boca Raton Chamber of Commerce - Women In Business
Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 11:30am at City Fish market, Boca Raton
Featuring Tammy Saltzman - Guerrilla Goal Getting. Learning how to create goals that will help you achieve all of your dreams. You will leave knowing the distinction between want and desire and how to create a team to help support your endeavors. You will also leave with tools needed to create annual, monthly and weekly goals. Reserve Seat Now

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Tammy Saltzman
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